Why? • If • Do? |  | If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? | | If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? | | Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? | | Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? | | If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? | | If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? | | When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? | | Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? | | Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. | | When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? | | Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist? | | Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? | | Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? | | "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? | | If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? | | If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? | | Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? | | What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men? | | I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me . . .they're cramming for their finals. | | I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? | | Why do they put pictures of criminals up In the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail? | | If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? | | You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. | | No one ever says, "It's only a game", when their team is winning. | | Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? | | Do you think that, if I played a blank tape at full blast, mimes would go nuts? | | If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out her nose? | | If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? | | Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? |
| Thanks W. D. Minter email |
A hundred years from now,
it will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove,
but the world might be different because I was important in the Life of a Child~
|
To my Dearest Felicity, |
My hands were busy through the day,
I didn’t have much time to play,
The little games you asked me to,
I didn’t have much time for you.
I’d wash your clothes, I’d work and cook,
But when you’d bring your picture book,
And ask me, please to share your fun,
I’d say, "A little later hon."
I’d tuck you in all safe at night,
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tiptoe softly to the door,
I wish I’d stayed a minute more.
For life is short, and years rush past,
A little girl grows up so fast,
No longer is she at your side,
Her precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away,
There are no children’s games to play,
No good-night kiss, no prayers to hear,
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands once busy now lie still,
The days are long and hard to fill,
I wish I might go back and do,
The little things you asked me to.
-Author Unknown
|
|